[He has been seen throughout the city all day, going from place to place. He is mostly hitting on chicks that are way out of his league (so, all of them) and trying to get someone to buy him free food. What a piece of crap.

He is currently talking to himself. It's embarrassing.]

Yeah, like. I have a girlfriend back home. She's a model and travels a lot, so we've decided to keep an open relationship because it would be unfair to keep me all to herself.

[What a loser.]