To Do! One: Post a recipe you like or like to make! -or- Two: Post a recipe that your character likes or knows ICly, for the lols. -or- Three: Post a recipe outright ICly, also for the lols.
Notes! → Multiple comments, multiple recipes = YES! → Credit can go to you or to a character--as always, for the lols
Yes, really: a gamewide cookbook, made by players, for players, for eating. Simple as that! We had this meme ages ago--like, seriously, it was back on LJ (and if you want to see the original, just look right here) and, well, Plurk conversations happened and now it's back!
This is more of a project than a meme, so consider it on-going. I will do my best to keep the table updated (so check back for a bigger list!)
Also, I really hate HTML sometimes...
Delicious things! Bring them forth for us all!
N.B.: These categories are sort of "default" categories. They will be edited as necessary and we can always add more for something that's not got a heading yet!
2 cups cooked rice (I use Jasmine rice. You can use any other type. Except Minute Rice. If you use Minute Rice, you are insane and shouldn't be in the kitchen) 2 Tbs sesame oil Meat (optional - pork, chicken, lamb. Human is fine too, but this place has cannibalism laws you should watch out for) 2 cups H2O (That is water, to the uninitiated) 1 small white onion, chopped 2 ounces coke zero ½ frozen peas and carrots, thawed, diced to the size of ... well, dice BBQ sauce (for taste not style) 2 eggs, lightly beaten (....chicken eggs please) 2 Tbsp chopped green onions
Instructions:
Early in the day (or the day before):
Marinate your meat. Also get your minds out of the gutter. You aren't junior high students. Cut up the meat so each piece is the size of a stack of about ten dimes. Note: do not marinate dimes (they have a distinct flavor of their own). Cut the meat to this size only. The dimes were an example. You don't have to shape the meat into little cylindrical shapes, either. After you have cut the meat, put it in a plastic bag with the barbecue sauce and throw in the refrigerator overnight.
Cook rice. I use 2 cups of rice to 2 cups water in a rice cooker. Let. The rice. Cool. To room temperature, or put it in the refrigerator if you cooked the rice the day before. I cannot stress how important this step is -- because it allows me to relax and watch Love Rain on TV before I resume cooking.
If asked, "Why aren't you cooking dinner?", you can always answer "I'm doing what the recipe told me to!"
When the rice is cool, here's what you do:
Get a nice big wok. Bigger is better. Well, that's not entirely true. Ripping the satellite dish from the neighbor's house is not a good idea. If you're using a kid's snow saucer, that's probably too big, too. A wok about 12 to 14 inches in diameter is about perfect. Put the wok on the stove, and start heating it up. The wok, that is.
Pour sesame oil at the bottom. Not the whole bottle. Three pinches will do. Get that bastard screaming hot. I suggest cooking this while you have clothes on. If you cook this naked, you run the risk of serious injury as the hot oil in the wok will spit at you when you do the next step.
Now that your wok is hot (remember Confucius says: hot wok, cold food, food won't stick), add the meat that has been marinating in the barbecue sauce. For the literal minded: remove the meat and sauce from the plastic bag first. Saute the meat until it's pretty much cooked. Raw chicken is not good for you.
Neither is poking your eye with the spatula you're using, but I digress.
OK, now that the meat is going well, add the egg mixture to the wok. Now do you see why you should wear clothes while cooking this? Scramble this up, don't let it form a big flapjack in the pan. Get this looking like oily scrambled eggs. Because that's what it is.
Scramble the meat, eggs and oil up good. When the mixture gets burned beyond recognition, throw the whole thing away and start again.
This time, before the meal gets burned (but after the eggs are starting to brown), add the Coke Zero. Just about two ounces. Not too much. Also add whiskey. Yum. You're making dinner with one of my good friends Jack Daniels. Invite him into your house often.
No. I'm joking.
Just add the cola. Pepsi, Coke, it doesn't make any difference. Diet, regular, who cares? You're using so little that it won't matter. But you do get just a touch of sweetness and flavor from the cola. And believe it or not, it makes a difference. Of course you can choose to drink the whiskey while you're cooking. Up to you.
As for the Coke ... what can you possibly do with the other 10 ounces in the can? Drink that too.
Next, add the rice a little at a time, making sure to break up the clumps as you go. When you've added all the rice, add the vegetables. You add them last so they will remain crisp. You want crisp, right? Frozen peas are great in this stuff. Even if you don't like peas, you owe it to yourself to try it. If you try the frozen peas and don't like them in the fried rice, don't bitch at me, though.
I like them. And I'm the one who made this recipe. Not you.
Mix and evenly heat all that stuff in the wok. Keep the heat on medium, and constantly stir. If you don't, you'll form a thermal rice barrier on the bottom of the wok which will prevent their little rice friends up top from cooking. Add some salt, add some more salt and taste it as you go. Add some more salt. Taste it again. Repeat.
Stop tasting if you notice your contents are either too salty, or are swiftly disappearing.
Spoon out into a bowl (eat right out of the wok if you're one of those provincial types), otherwise, spoon onto a nice dinner plate, pour yourself some wine (Chardonnay goes best with this) and enjoy in front of the television because Love Rain has just started.
Note: Fried Rice was actually designed to use leftover rice. In some Chinese families, it's an insult to serve it to guests. (I say bring it on. What the guests don't know won't kill them.)
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misterblackbird) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
poly_crack2013-12-12 09:37 am
IC Response For Fried Rice (Gacked From Various Recipe Sites)
~"Fried Rice For Idiots"~
Serves: 8
Ingredients:
2 cups cooked rice (I use Jasmine rice. You can use any other type. Except Minute Rice. If you use Minute Rice, you are insane and shouldn't be in the kitchen)
2 Tbs sesame oil
Meat (optional - pork, chicken, lamb. Human is fine too, but this place has cannibalism laws you should watch out for)
2 cups H2O (That is water, to the uninitiated)
1 small white onion, chopped
2 ounces coke zero
½ frozen peas and carrots, thawed, diced to the size of ... well, dice
BBQ sauce (for taste not style)
2 eggs, lightly beaten (....chicken eggs please)
2 Tbsp chopped green onions
Instructions:
Marinate your meat. Also get your minds out of the gutter. You aren't junior high students. Cut up the meat so each piece is the size of a stack of about ten dimes. Note: do not marinate dimes (they have a distinct flavor of their own). Cut the meat to this size only. The dimes were an example. You don't have to shape the meat into little cylindrical shapes, either. After you have cut the meat, put it in a plastic bag with the barbecue sauce and throw in the refrigerator overnight.
Cook rice. I use 2 cups of rice to 2 cups water in a rice cooker. Let. The rice. Cool. To room temperature, or put it in the refrigerator if you cooked the rice the day before. I cannot stress how important this step is -- because it allows me to relax and watch Love Rain on TV before I resume cooking.
If asked, "Why aren't you cooking dinner?", you can always answer "I'm doing what the recipe told me to!"
Neither is poking your eye with the spatula you're using, but I digress.
Just add the cola. Pepsi, Coke, it doesn't make any difference. Diet, regular, who cares? You're using so little that it won't matter. But you do get just a touch of sweetness and flavor from the cola. And believe it or not, it makes a difference. Of course you can choose to drink the whiskey while you're cooking. Up to you.
Next, add the rice a little at a time, making sure to break up the clumps as you go. When you've added all the rice, add the vegetables. You add them last so they will remain crisp. You want crisp, right? Frozen peas are great in this stuff. Even if you don't like peas, you owe it to yourself to try it. If you try the frozen peas and don't like them in the fried rice, don't bitch at me, though.
I like them. And I'm the one who made this recipe. Not you.
Stop tasting if you notice your contents are either too salty, or are swiftly disappearing.